Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Forgiveness is a powerful healing tool
There are times in everyone’s lives when it feels hard or even impossible to forgive. Most of us realize the need for forgiveness in order to achieve a release of negative feelings and move on with our lives in a positive direction, but it is often difficult to truly allow ourselves to heal from past emotional injuries.
The first step to forgiveness is recognizing that the act of forgiving is not synonymous with condoning the hurtful event or behavior, nor does it mean you will forget what happened to you. Forgiveness simply means that you understand that holding on to anger and pain doesn’t do you any good. When you can release these feelings and free yourself from the negative energetic connections to an event, place or person, you have achieved forgiveness.
Forgiveness is more easily reached when you feel heard, respected and understood. Take the time to really listen to your hurt and sadness, directly addressing those feelings rather than burying them. Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D., writes that we need to “recognize the value of forgiveness and its importance in our lives at a given time. Reflect on the facts of the situation, how we’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected our lives, our health, and our well being.”
Meditation is a useful tool that can help us learn to hear and understand what we are feeling. The act of meditation brings our minds to a deep state of relaxation and awareness. Meditation can be practiced in many forms, from the Christian practice of the rosary to Theravada Buddhism, which emphasizes the meditative development of mindfulness and concentration as part of the pursuit of Nirvana. Experiment with different methods to determine what works best for you.
Remember that forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation, and a reunion is not a necessary product of forgiveness. The person may have died, or may have caused you physical or emotional harm. The purpose of forgiveness is to take away the power that the negative connection to that person has over you, and put you back in control of your emotions.
We all choose our own paths in life – those who are unable to forgive may live a lifetime of bitterness, anger and regret. Choosing to actively forgive others, as well as ourselves, helps us to lead lives that are full of joy, peace, gratitude and love. We all have painful events residing in our memories; forgiveness helps to lessen the pain and allows us to enjoy life by learning to focus on the good. Because of the emotional freedom it grants us, forgiveness is one of the strongest healing powers we can develop within ourselves.
Paula Novak, a registered nurse and certified Healing Touch practitioner, is the clinical coordinator for Healing Touch and Integrative Care at The William W. Backus Hospital in Norwich. This column should not replace advice or instruction from your personal physician. E-mail Novak and all of the Healthy Living columnists at healthyliving@wwbh.org, or comment on their blog at healthydocs.blogspot.com.
The first step to forgiveness is recognizing that the act of forgiving is not synonymous with condoning the hurtful event or behavior, nor does it mean you will forget what happened to you. Forgiveness simply means that you understand that holding on to anger and pain doesn’t do you any good. When you can release these feelings and free yourself from the negative energetic connections to an event, place or person, you have achieved forgiveness.
Forgiveness is more easily reached when you feel heard, respected and understood. Take the time to really listen to your hurt and sadness, directly addressing those feelings rather than burying them. Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D., writes that we need to “recognize the value of forgiveness and its importance in our lives at a given time. Reflect on the facts of the situation, how we’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected our lives, our health, and our well being.”
Meditation is a useful tool that can help us learn to hear and understand what we are feeling. The act of meditation brings our minds to a deep state of relaxation and awareness. Meditation can be practiced in many forms, from the Christian practice of the rosary to Theravada Buddhism, which emphasizes the meditative development of mindfulness and concentration as part of the pursuit of Nirvana. Experiment with different methods to determine what works best for you.
Remember that forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation, and a reunion is not a necessary product of forgiveness. The person may have died, or may have caused you physical or emotional harm. The purpose of forgiveness is to take away the power that the negative connection to that person has over you, and put you back in control of your emotions.
We all choose our own paths in life – those who are unable to forgive may live a lifetime of bitterness, anger and regret. Choosing to actively forgive others, as well as ourselves, helps us to lead lives that are full of joy, peace, gratitude and love. We all have painful events residing in our memories; forgiveness helps to lessen the pain and allows us to enjoy life by learning to focus on the good. Because of the emotional freedom it grants us, forgiveness is one of the strongest healing powers we can develop within ourselves.
Paula Novak, a registered nurse and certified Healing Touch practitioner, is the clinical coordinator for Healing Touch and Integrative Care at The William W. Backus Hospital in Norwich. This column should not replace advice or instruction from your personal physician. E-mail Novak and all of the Healthy Living columnists at healthyliving@wwbh.org, or comment on their blog at healthydocs.blogspot.com.
# posted by ----------------- @ 3:25 PM 
