Healthy Living

All of us have been affected by the recent tragedy in which four teens were killed in a car crash in Griswold.

This was not a one day news flash, and coping with the grief will be a marathon, not a sprint. As new information emerges — such as photos of the teens involved, updates on the teen that lived, the ongoing funeral services — we are reminded of what happened on a daily basis.

Yet we have different connections to these circumstances, and this will affect both how we relate to the issues and how we need to adjust our coping strategies to them.

There is a quietness in our school hallways, not just in Griswold, but throughout many, many schools in our communities. This is not surprising — and should not concern you.

There are some helpful tips to remember when dealing with emotional trauma and painful emotional issues:

• Pace yourself. I use the expression, “it’s likely to be a marathon, not a sprint.” That means you should try to deal with these issues in little bits at a time. Take a break after talking about these painful things and do something that brings you comfort — watching an old movie you know you love, working out, prayer, calling (not texting!) a friend.

• Rely on your natural supports. This can be a time to freshen up friendships and relationships. Make a point to find someone for a lunch or a dinner visit. Stop by someone’s house for a cup of coffee.

• Stick to a normal routine as much as possible. It sounds simple, but the concrete, simple things make a big difference in times like these — eat right, get an appropriate amount of rest, exercise a bit.

• Talk to people. And I mean talk, face to face, human contact is important. Electronic media, social networking, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, this communication are all good tools, but they are only tools — and they do not offer the solace and comfort that we need during these times. Some say that much of communication is non-verbal, as much as 80%. That is especially true now. Strong, important emotions are not well communicated with smiley faces, and dashes and dots at the end of a text. Use this as a chance to break that habit and talk to someone!

Use faith-based supports. Few resources are as well-equipped to help during these times as our rabbis, ministers, imans, priests, pastors. Reach out to these resources and you will find comfort and much wisdom.

Visit www.backushospital.org to watch a video on coping with tragedy, or for printable coping tips.

Peace to all of you during this season and trying time.

James O’Dea, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and Assistant Vice President, Business Operation at The William W. Backus Hospital. This column should not replace advice or instruction from your personal physician. If you want to comment on this column or others, visit the Healthy Living blog at www.backushospital.org/backus-blogs or e-mail Dr. O'Dea or any of the Healthy Living columnists at healthyliving@wwbh.org